Introduction
There is a very important aspect of our
lives that affects the ability to advance. Although quite obvious,
it is usually ignored. It is a base, from which, activities are
launched that destroy lives. We’re talking about the basic tendency to form habits.
The better ones help us, greatly, in life. The bad ones lead to
self-destruction. Some are started
intentionally…others unintentionally. In all cases, however, very
elemental forces come into play…forces more powerful than our
conscious decisions. Those deep lying factors are what give habits a life of their own, long after any decision
to implement ( conscious or not ) has been forgotten. This is why
it usually takes a little more than just a new decision to end a habit. This
project was created to provide a framework and a focused guideline for use in such efforts. Once the concept is clear, it may be applied
as a format for an individuals own program.
…focus aid…
Any actions, that
we find ourselves repeating (regardless of conscious determination), over a
substantial time span, are usually
referred to as habits. Those, that we have carefully installed, and which can, in
retrospect, be seen as beneficial, are categorized as good habits. Habits that
may not have been installed, so carefully, and can be seen as detrimental,
are called bad. Most
of our habits are usually not viewed as clearly falling into either category…a
good, clear, understanding of just what role
they are playing, in our life, may not be readily available. Often, this is all
well and good…but, from time to time, it might be beneficial to take a general,
overall, inventory of our habits. Of course, this project is
intended to be useful toward the “personal formulation” of a program that might
better enable a person to “come to grip” with some,
particular, bad habit; however,
prior to the actual initialization of such a program, it may be helpful to
consider an “in-depth” picture of the
primary nature of habits, in general
Awareness Focus
…nature of habits…
When any of our activities, in life, seem to yield
“favorable” benefits we experience a natural urge to replicate them… in some form. If such “benefits” appear
quickly, the “motivation” appears, quickly…perhaps very quickly! In fact, any time that even tiny
“advantageous side effects” appear, this “motivation” asserts itself, (despite
the fact that the “primary results” were, largely, detrimental). Indeed, the
desire for “more”, “better”, etc. seems, often, more powerful than our need to
be totally cognizant of our true situation, in life. With the passage of time, inclination towards revisiting those “activities” decreases; however, as our intellect becomes more dominant, we will still have the ability to,
consciously, choose many options (including the very activity that was,
previously, so disrespectful of our treasured “ability to choose”) Hopefully,
that intellect
is (by then))“well grounded” in truthfulness! Reality
does not respect your person…it, merely, exerts itself!
If our “intellect” has served us well,
distance (in time) will offer much more opportunity for it to continue doing so
in the future! The more you are able to distance
yourself from “undesired influence”, the
more “leverage” you gain, for your
“intellectual” efforts.
The establishment of any
habit is (at least) a somewhat “weighty” choice. Perhaps, a good “rule-of-thumb” might be:
(l) When very easily “gravitated/motivated”
towards anything, with any apparent “bad consequence”, we
should assert our option for “time
to think”! A “look” at how such actions might fit into the “big” picture, will
give you a better view! (2) Only when we
have experienced “good results”, coming
from actions that took place a good while ago (sufficiently for good, conscious
intellect to be in control), should we consider the value of making similar
actions…habits!
…good habits…
Good habits are essential in our lives.
Unfortunately, some time after their formation, we begin to take their
benefits for granted! That is not all
bad. One of the main reasons we established them in the first place (in
addition to strengthening our “total
self”), was to expedite future
activities… not slow them down with “excess
contemplation”! In addition to taking them for granted, we may resent any effort we perceive to be associated with
these good habits (even though, in reality, the only substantial costs, there,
occurred way back at the time of formation).
As we grow older, “adolescent,
oversensitivity to time”, may be “tempered”, somewhat, but
conscious/unconscious realization, that
much time has, already, been lost,
may add much to our anxiety!
Intensity builds. Yes, we may be anxious; but let’s not replay our
mistakes of the past! Yes, we may be
able to offer good “rationality” for our “urgency”; but, when greater spans of
our lifetime are used as comparisons, we see that “little” efforts, at the
appropriate moments, yielded good
advances, while mistakes, made in haste, lowered our present level of
success…and we may (likely) be compelled to repeat many of those efforts.
“Good habits” are, always, subject to
modification as we reach more advanced levels in our life. When the time comes…the advantages of a
new/improved regimen will become very clear.
…bad
habits…
From “compulsive inclinations”…through “mild habits”…and into the realm of “repetitive,
confirmed, patterns” (commonly referred to as: “Addiction”), we find a common
thread: All of the terms, used to
describe any habit, on some level, may be defined by the same
words!... (examples: “repetition”, “compulsion”, etc., etc.) They differ, only,
by “degree”
(of power and direction).
Of course we can’t consider comparisons
with “good habits” as they are, fundamentally, formed, intentionally, but many
“less conscious” activities, while difficult to classify (examples: physical
“twitches”, etc., “accents” in speech, etc.),
may fall into “good” or “bad” categories, unknown to the person…but we may definitely compare any that you, as an individual, consciously
want to eliminate.
Within the most confined category we can describe, lies infinite variety. No two people are alike. Each “variety”
includes an infinite number of “degrees of strength”! The most careful
study of one persons “habit experience” may offer little insight that might
form a basis of comparison with another’s experience…but, still, bear in mind, that all “habits” share the fact
that, in each case, forces, come in to play…encouraging pursuit, of each one…for good, or
for bad!
Do we have any control over such forces?
The very definition of the word “habit”,
should remind us that these are ‘forces’ that seem to act, almost, with a
“life/mind” of their own!
In order to understand them, better, we
will look for a method of “viewing” that will allow sufficient focus, while at
the same time, maintaining an “overview”.
(Note: For serious, or severe addiction, click here before
continuing)
As offered previously, “habits” range from
the very good, to the very bad. In our attempt to focus, we may tend to choose
(as our target subject), habits in “middle-ground”…those not yet defined
as really very good or bad; however, we will not do so, now! That is because a “good
view of middle-ground” might, too quickly, lead us to categorize a
habit as, either, good or bad…something most of us are very anxious to
do (so that we may stop worrying about the
thing).
It is much too inviting an idea. It encourages us to investigate these, thoroughly,
to that end!(and, likely, delve deeply, divide and subdivide… to so
classify)
That may seem all very well, and very good,
but now… We will, instead, look into the stretch of the range
regarded as “Good”. We do this for many reasons (many of which
may not be clear, without close examination); primarily, however, it is because
all “habits”, share that “common
thread”, and from this “viewpoint” we’ll be less “intimidated”,
within our thought process. We shouldn’t feel a need for “blinders”, etc., and
can consider underlying truths, about “habits”, freely. Examination of our personal “good habits” may seem a
million miles away from our real problems, but please...read on.
Another note on: GOOD HABITS
Hopefully, most of us have many of them.
Commonly, the more influential ones, in our life, were instilled at a very
early age. As a good, normal person, continually working to improve yourself,
you found it was useful to adopt many of these to help with progressing in
life. The degree to which this was so (and still is) is determined by past
experience; however, later on, as one becomes concerned with problems involving
“bad habits”, there may arise some suspicion of the very “thread” that all habits share! Thus, at times (probably, when we are not at
our strongest) there may occur to us a thought of “cleansing/freeing ourselves
from the influence of all habits…perhaps, “regrouping” our
“total person” may be possible. Often the, instinctive “urge to
purge” comes over us. But, do we want to throw out the good with the
bad? We most definitely do not…there are better ways!
Perhaps, if we can develop a deeper
understanding of how such forces work, it may be possible to affect an “interdiction”(at
critical points, in our thought process), deterring us from pursuit of bad
paths! Now, whenever it is possible to
do this correctly, we should do so. But, consider that a very solid
appreciation, for the underlying apparatus, may be very useful. These forces are, literally, “moving” us,
with little regard for our “conscious will”! They
are, often, the very most powerful influences, in
our mind!
… Consider
the elemental, all pervasive,
forces of matter and energy (i.e.: solids, liquids, gravity,
heat, cold, light, dark, physical pressure, etc., etc.,…in other words, what we
are looking at, here, is a force, that involves our physiological senses!
Simply put, it is the inclination to value/respect anything
we perceive to have been useful in the past. It includes “mental
processes”, from the extremes of the “purely physical”…all the way to “consciously
influenced thought”… the range may be wide.
Obviously,
feelings, associated with a more physical base, are of the
strongest influence. They evoke instinctive reaction that supersedes any
intellectual consideration. Therefore, even GREAT thought, given
to this, usually “disconnects” from our own, immediate, personal
reality! Expect such disconnection!…prepare!
… Mind Over Matter…
This
is the point at which we must, “doggedly,” go in the direction we know
is best, despite the presence of “voices” telling us that it is a
“blind” path! (remember that such “voices” have, always, followed
our first awareness, and after performing this function, may not, for a second
time, be immediately available).
Do not be thrown by the feeling that we are “relinquishing
control”…it’s just another new experience.
In other words, we have turned the reins over to our own “intellectual
administration”, despite being aware that we are, in “fundamental”
ways, physical beings!
Prepare for a new, improved life!
A New Life
Too fast? Sometimes life does seem to come at us fast. We should
be ready for success, just as we should be ready for threats to our well being.
Both represent “turning points” in life.
If we have any idea of where we are headed…
upon reaching a “turning point” (the “signs” having been read), we must be able
to respond, appropriately. This may require “action”… or it might involve
“deliberation”, but it must be based on good, sharp awareness of our overall
“new” situation. The sooner this is realized, the sooner we can take our first
steps.
Now… if we have attained the foregoing (with
reasonable “grades“), a few shortcomings, on our part, (that have
been carried over from the past), need not be a concern. We are here…now!…at
this point! We will factor everything in, making
the best, of our overall situation. We will resolve such matters ASAP. (…but should it be necessary to
“carry” some things forward, that is acceptable…just, continue to see these,
clearly…until properly resolved (or, maybe even, incorporated into some,
future, “new life”).
Program Application
Hopefully,
the foregoing discourse has brought the reader to a more focused realization
of “personal ability” which may be
utilized to gain control over habits.
This heightened focus, while appearing to be quite obvious, must be
applied, regularly, while actual application is under way…the reason
it has been emphasized, here.
All of us possess some of this
ability.
We have used it, on countless occasions, to achieve conscious
objectives. The only serious question, remaining is one of the strength
of that ability…as opposed
to the strength of any particular obstacle we need to
overcome. We must possess sufficient
strength to accomplish our goals.
Strength varies, greatly,
from person to person. More importantly, it varies, greatly, within the
experience of one individual. Building on one’s strength is always important, in life. Healthy
gains in any area contribute to gains in other areas. ( a theme, often repeated
on this site.) Likewise, the elimination
of items
that lessen
or dilute our strength…contributes to the increasing or concentration
of our strength…(a primary motivation for eliminating
bad habits, in the first place).
…Overcoming
Bad Habits…
Sometimes, even very
tiny ( and, seemingly, unimportant ) bad habits can be very difficult to overcome. What may be easy for some may be, nearly, impossible
for others. This is a fact…but,
one that we should not concern ourselves with, here…and now!
First, we need to make an evaluation
of our own, individual
strengths or limitations. Upon completion of this, we will be able to construct an outline ( or framework ) to be used in
our plan
of attack.
A good awareness, (current)understanding and acceptance of our limitations is absolutely essential to the successful
outcome of our attack! If we attempt too
great an undertaking, we will fail. Yes,
we aspire to major accomplishment…but often it is necessary to utilize very clever
plans to obtain lofty goals.
…Targeting…
What is the best approach
to dealing with our own, personal, bad habits?
What is the best way to affect permanent, complete elimination of, one ( or some ) of our worst habits? A very fundamental truth, in life, is: “most
important things first”. Using this
idea as a reason to attack our apparent
biggest problem, do not overlook an
even more
fundamental truth: “first things
first”! If we are fully
strong enough to take on what we see as our greatest adversary, then that is
definitely what we should do. If we are not, then our plan should be one that
builds us up…towards that occasion. We may want to target one habit, or
many, but the sum total of all battles ( to be, simultaneously, engaged ) must
be clearly surmountable…otherwise,
another plan is needed. Remember that getting rid of even a very minor problem ads
to our future ability. It is
progress.
Once
a clear target is visible, it should
be carefully analyzed for strengths and weaknesses. If possible, aim to exploit those. Possibly, the most effective thing we can do
is to find a way to divide it into sectors, attacking the strongest area that
can be easily overcome.
…Plan of Attack…
Consider your overall strategy and
plan…including a plan for action/commitment following initial success. Know
that upon commencement, you have committed yourself to the complete and total
victory over this habit! You must
continue to perform all of the tasks in your program, to completion. Rest
may not be an option, for you…for some time. Yes you may become anxious to return to a normal routine…that is fine. In fact you will, likely, find yourself much
more able to deal with normal matters…however, some things will have, now,
changed. This a new life. Deal with it as such. Remember that this has been your choice. You may forget your past problems of weakness. You are a new person. People you come into contact with who can
accept you, now…you will be able to deal with properly. Do so.
Those choosing not to accept you as you now are, assume an unrealistic
perspective…giving you a clear advantage.
Use it appropriately.
…Timing…
The simple answer to this
is: “What’s keeping you?” If you haven’t already begun to do so, why
wait any longer?...Perhaps a good answer is: “NOW”!...If you still need
to take further steps preparing yourself for a successful outcome…fine…do
that! (how about now?) Use and
apply these thoughts to your personal situation. Apply as needed, continuously and
repeatedly. As you become more
successful in your achievements, apply them toward higher goals…but be aware of
the need to see things in proper
perspective. This project, like
other concepts, in life may be very helpful…but, there are, always, more ideas
and concepts that will come our way, in the future. Seek them out. We can
take some small step towards a better
world!
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